TBS Pain

Pain Touches Us All…

2009-04-29T21:58:00.000-07:00

In last night’s lecture I cannot for a minute pretend I understood all of which was said. I can however state that I found it to be very interesting. Although I do not speak Greek, Italian or otherwise I can connect with what was said on some level. That level is that I could hear through her intonation a level of anguish and pain, as can be detected in virtually any language. Dr. Frank was very intense in her descriptions of the various texts and I often found myself trying to keep up. I simply found myself just closing my eyes as she spoke in the various languages of the texts. It was delightful to listen to, I never really heard someone speak Greek or something like it. The way the words flowed sounded like water flowing over a river or something like it in the sense that it was soothing to listen to. It was quite a different tone than I was expecting but none the less insightful and entertaining. One thing she did say and I quote “when there is force there is pain” I found very interesting. I would generally say that upon reflection of what she said that I would agree with it. In my opinion whenever someone is forced into something they generally fall into a state of stress, which in turn can cause pain on some level. This obviously can manifest itself as both physical and mental anguish for that person. Funny enough we have learned throughout this course that pain can also manifest itself by an unseen force. So it is as though many of us don’t even know when it’s coming. This notion in my opinion is pretty scary, how can we ever learn to deal with pain if we can’t even see it coming, we would never be able to anticipate it. Overall I thought that this lecture was a lot different than our other lectures but at the same time very helpful in further understanding yet another facet of pain. It has been a great run.

Kikes and Coons

2009-04-19T12:34:00.000-07:00

So let me just start off by saying I thought this was a highly intelligent film. The reason being is that it was so carefully planned out that while I say there watching I had a difficult time ascertaining what was fictional from reality. That alone made this a powerful film, and I must say scary as well. We live in a nation based on a certain set of beliefs, and this movie in my mind challenged some of those. What honestly struck me most was the racial aspect the film brought to light. Some of the things I just couldn’t believe. The example of some of the commercials that they showed portraying just blatant racism was astounding and just ridiculous. I mean to think we as a nation actually allowed things like that to be aired on television back then. One of my best friends that I have known since the 9th grade is black. I look at him as if he was my brother and in his eyes I am nothing but the same back. The sheer stupidity of racism is appalling. In all Seriousness, just because certain members of a conceived racial profile might not be the smartest or do the right things don’t make an entire race such. There are plenty of bad people of all races. There are not so bright Asians and whites. There are extremely intelligent blacks and Hispanics. To label an entire race based on a few is wrong. I have dated several black women for instance, and I remember what it was like going out or publicly displaying affection with them. It was like there was something everyone around us was transfixed on. Some like unspoken taboo or some crazy thing. Then we have the Jews. I’m Jewish and although for some reason people don’t think I “look Jewish” I don’t think that’s very good at times. When people think that I am not Jewish they often don’t think twice before they make a remark against Jews. I may not be very religious but it’s as if I am classified as a white person and then as a Jew. Not simply a white Jew but those things are separate. Imagine what I use to hear people say when I the Jew was dating a Jamaican. It wasn’t very nice. The Coon Chicken Inn was probably one of the saddest things I have ever seen. It was pitiful just simply pitiful. People should get their heads out of their asses and realize we are all people, who are just like every other living creature, animals. I don’t see a white hamster having a problem with a black hamster…. Does anyone else? We really all need to grow up….

Pain by the Mile

2009-04-11T18:57:00.000-07:00

Now this last lecture was interesting. I have often found myself glued to the television as some seemingly insane person decides to run a marathon of sorts. I can say that I enjoy watching them, their faces, expressing every imaginable facet of pain. How do they do it? Why in the world do they do it? I often wonder how anyone could ever dream of doing such. Now granted, I am a personal trainer and can appreciate wanting to take your body to the next level and to attempt to achieve the impossible with it. However, I hate running, in fact I detest it. That is of course, one person’s opinion. I’m certain that there are plenty of people who just can’t wait to go out and enjoy the weather and run till their hearts are content with it. That just isn’t me. In my opinion just watching them is a painful experience all in itself. I watched last week as the people in the race simply collapsed because their bodies refused to go on. You know, when your body actually has to go into auto shut down I think it’s time for someone to listen to what their body is telling them. Now what I can say is that from a trainer’s perspective that I not healthy. What those people put themselves through isn’t healthy. Every single individual from the video was basically emaciated to the point that physical activity of that caliber was simply not wise. When the body has deteriorated to that level one needs to pick up some calories, in all seriousness they need to stuff themselves. Personally, why anyone would want to subject themselves to such insanity is beyond my comprehension, and I myself would never advise it. To make a joke, even as the people crossed that finish line they certainly didn’t even appear to be happy. In fact they seemed to be downright miserable. After the lecture we had a discussion regarding the lecture and I could tell not many people had much to say, including myself. When I talked to some of my peers they all agreed that there wasn’t much else to discuss in terms of further conversation regarding the matter. Although I found the subject matter of the lecture to be interesting I really didn’t have much to expand upon, and I believe no one else did either. Until next week….

The Pain Show

2009-04-03T16:10:00.001-07:00

Could you ever mutilate your body in front of an audience? Could you even conceive of it, Let alone derive some twisted sexual fulfillment from it? I can safely say I cannot. In actuality I’m not very big on pain personally, despite my insane threshold of tolerance for it. In my last lecture I learned that there was a whole big world of pain I have never even heard of, that of performance of pain. Never would I have thought there were actually people who could seriously make a public spectacle out of their own ridiculously excruciating acts of self flagellation. I was shocked to learn that people with that mind set actually are out there. My father always told me and still stands by his original statement, “there are a lot of sick people out there.” As I sat back and processed all the images the good professor shared with us I couldn’t help but hear my father’s voice reverberate back in my head. I did however find one part of it to be humorous even in its level of grotesqueness. That being the clip that was played where Bob Flannagan used almost every conceivable S word in order to convey what he wants out of everyday life. He did a very smart job with it, hell I never actually sat back and pondered just how many torture or pain words start with S. The guy named so many I couldn’t even help but to laugh at the sheer preposterousness of it. I mean sure is it sometimes fun to add some playful smacking or biting into your love life, hey I’m all for it and I’m sure that I’m not the only one, but that guy just made a joke out of it. He was in his own zone if you will, on in which I never even want to step foot in. I believe that that man has got some serious issues, although granted he was very ill. He suffered from CF which I happen to know a lot about because my mother once worked for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and I got the experience of meeting and knowing several CF fighters. I can say that it is terrible to watch and probably unimaginably so for the one experiencing it. I never have seen anyone with such an outlet as Bob however; for in actuality it is astonishing to me that he was physically able to conduct everything he did given the severity of the disease and its debilitating effects upon one’s body. No Pain no gain I guess.

Illumination

2009-03-26T01:13:00.001-07:00

Distress, was a word used in the film Everything is Illuminated frequently. I would say it is a perfect word to describe the overall tone of the movie. Although the broken Ukrainian English butchering was very humorous it only masked what was really going on in this film. I would have to say that my favorite character was definitely the grandfather, because of his complex character vs. that of Jonathan or Alex. He was the character that stuck out to me from the very beginning as just off, as if there was something to be in fact “illuminated” about him or potentially his past. Usually it’s the bitter ones that we learn from in life, that typically culminating in the form of don’t grow up to be like me or something pretty close. Now I am Jewish so I guess perhaps I should have some deeper connection with this movie but in actuality I really don’t because I am not very religious. What I do know is a simple life lesson, no one is bitter for no reason. When I saw grandfather I knew something had happened to him, not sure what but I knew he was unhappy with himself, and obviously beat himself up about it on a regular basis. Finding out at the end of the film that he was actually a Jew was a bit of a revelation for me, considering I was harboring an inclination that he was in actuality one of the ones responsible for the sacking of Trachinbrod. I suppose in some way my initial gut feeling was correct, he did have a reason to be unhappy; pretending to be something he wasn’t by being an anti-Semitic prick. Given his experiences in life I would say he was the most pained of all the characters aside from the lone woman in Trachinbrod. She represented the alienation of the past. Never been in a car, didn’t know if the war was over etc. she didn’t want to know about the future, only cared about preserving her past, which unfortunately was burned and gunned down decades earlier. Jonathan was just funny to watch, given his peculiar tendencies. I would say he was even more deranged than the “seeing eye bitch”. The only thing I can’t seem to figure out was why grandfather pretended to be blind, I am still pondering on the significance of that; as well as why was the only character grandfather connected with was the seeing eye bitch. Finally we have Alex, a simple boy who embraced the past, or more aptly put just an out of date hip hop phase. Although the clothing was fly, I would say he was the most naive of them all. How do you not know that the people of your own country harbored anti-Semitisms? Overall I enjoyed the movie especially the broken English because that alone was painful. As for the overall message of the film I would say it was well received and that I would recommend this film as a movie to fall into repose with.

Shut Up and Forget...

2009-03-03T22:59:00.000-08:00

Now this was a lecture I happened to find interesting. 911 is such an interesting topic primarily due to the fact that it is different for everyone. How we see it, look back on it, remember it, etc. When we were showed the picture of the falling man everyone in the room had a different reaction. I was honestly watching everyone else look at the picture because that is what I found interesting. I have seen that iconic image many times; in fact I think it’s sort of embedded into my brain somewhere. We really don’t talk about 911 very much and I believe that is a terrible thing. I never really understood why if we think something is bad we don’t talk about it. Why not talk about just how terrible something is? We are a society that loves to shut up about what bothers us. I think that makes us weak personally. When it comes to 911 yes it was a hurtful tragedy but why in the world would we ever even dream of forgetting it? It was a day that touched each and every one of us in such a uniquely profound way. It is a reason to make art over. Art should be beautiful, and even the most tragic occurrences can be seen as such depending on the depiction. What Grayton Parrish made was an example of such, because it is indeed a beautiful depiction of something horrific. The work titled “Cycle of Terror and Tragedy” is actually astounding in my opinion. It reflects all the lost voices of 911 and even the ones who simply shut up. When I looked at the picture of that painting I thought, I couldn’t help it. It struck me as so powerful a depiction. In my mind this is how it should be. How tragic days such as 911 should be remembered by future generations. It is very hard to recreate the profound feelings associated with that day and I often wonder myself how I will explain it to my hopefully future children, or anyone for that matter. A part of any explanation will be missing. The emotion will be lost, totally annihilated just like the falling man. The only reason he is remembered is by that picture; a mode of cataloging various events in time to suit our needs. Otherwise he would have only been remembered for about ten seconds in the minds of whoever saw him jump. Parrish chose a different route to remember, he painted a picture for us all, both present and future to behold and understand; of a day that we should never forget…

Harold and Maude

2009-02-24T22:16:00.001-08:00

Alright so I guess I will start by saying that some older films really can be awesome. This coming from the guy who typically doesn’t like older films even ones from the 70’s and 80’s. Anything pre- 90’s to me is considered outdated, typically. I happened to love this film yet I have never seen it before. The entire concept of it was simply brilliant, and I can understand why it is so highly followed as a “cult” film. It was hilarious, and I often found myself cracking up constantly at the absolutely ridiculousness of some of the events and behaviors that took place within the film. The overall message of it was also very powerful, and I enjoy and respect it all the more for it. It was one of those uplifting movies that makes a person want to just get up and live their life to the fullest like Maude did. She was a character that I think each and every one of us would try to be at least in some form. Hey at 79 I would love to be able to run around and do half of the crazy stuff she did. She was like the perfect ideal elder woman. I sure hope my hopefully future wife, whoever she may be is half as exciting as that batty old woman. To me everyone instantly falls in love with her character because she just represents a freedom that so many of us strive for yet never attain. In a way Maude reminded me of my own grandmother, who is the most upbeat energetic elder lady I have ever seen. Then we have Harold, and all I can say is how sad. I would hate to be near the guy, simply for just how miserable and morbid he is. It was as if he was Maude’s total antithesis. If there was some type of fun to suck out of life I would call Harold and he could leech it from me. Although there were times I appreciated his horrific dedication to reenacting his own attempted suicides, I thought he was a bit messed up in the head. I personally am a guy who can’t really imagine ever killing myself, or at least have yet to even have a sliver of thought towards that direction. This is not to say that like is wonderful and doesn’t have its ups and downs, but to me Harold personified the guy who only lived for the downs, never the ups. Overall I thought this was a great film and I am glad it was chosen for this lecture night because it probably would never have been brought to my attention otherwise. Safe to assume if it hasn’t happened in the last 20 years that it won’t happen tomorrow I guess. Everyone around me should only want the best and live for it. I’d like to think I take life with a grain of salt but at the end of the day I turn every single frown I have ever had upside-down.

Is Love a Disease?

2009-02-23T11:41:00.000-08:00

Last week I attended a lecture by a guest speaker named Dr. Ealy. I must say it was very interesting, although I was not fond of his particular chosen mode of delivery. He was extremely knowledgeable about our topic of the week and I certainly felt as though my Tuesday night was well spent. He spoke of the Spanish play Celestina and that was the major focus of the discussion, yet it was actually something else entirely that captivated my attention. Dr. Ealy essentially associated love with disease or an illness. This is something I have never actually thought about yet in a peculiar way it makes a bit of sense. I have been in what I call love, or at least love in my definition of the term, yet I never actually looked at it as a negative, such as to tie it with words as sick, ill, diseased, etc. I find it inconceivable that someone in love would not enjoy it if in fact they received the same pleasure back from it. From what the professor was saying it is true that love is indeed a form of infatuation that can easily be associated with an OCD disorder. When a person is in love they sometimes simply cannot stop thinking of the other person making them obsessive. Is it normal to call a partner about ten times a day? I would say no but this happens quite frequently among couples. Sometimes, at least in my previous relationships I have found myself acting completely out of character. Looking back I am unsure if that was right. Has anyone honestly thought about their partner from the moment they wake up to the second they fall asleep, I am sure they have. Is this not a bit sick? To become so wrapped up in a love affair. The professor brought up another point that I found absolutely true. People in love sometimes say or do things they would never ordinarily in order to please their partner. Now why would someone do something they would never in a million years dream of doing unless something was wrong with them? Could love in actuality make us run on less than all our cylinders? These are but a few of the questions that I began to mull over during and after that lecture. Could love actually be a negative? Could love really be a form of mental sickness? I wonder……

Rape is Funny

2009-02-10T22:02:00.000-08:00

First off I wanted to say just how shocked I was at the turnout for this specific lecture. I had no idea it would generate such interest within our university. The topic of tonight’s discussion was rape and why we as a society portray it in our media as comical. I can safely say that in reality I do not find anything about the actual act of rape to be funny, yet there are certain times when someone for the sake of being ridiculously witty shoots out a comment or something that evokes a reaction from me. This is either one of disgust, admiration, or a laugh. I cannot explain why I find some of these jokes or commentaries to be funny but I simply do. The underlying reasoning of it is typically because I find people worthwhile and enjoyable to converse with if they are in fact quick on the uptake. Tonight’s lecture got me thinking of that; although it focused on pop culture portrayal and movies etc. internally I focused on a different aspect. I wanted to reflect on why I in fact admit to finding some portrayals of rape to be funny. It is actually rather disturbing to be able to say that about myself upon reflection but none the less it is the truth. I know that I’m not alone as I watched countless individuals snicker or grin as our professor made a comment or showed us something on the screen. The question is why do we find this funny? Well I think the reason is because like one of my classmates said we have become desensitized to the thought of rape as an actual real life occurrence that takes place all around us on what is probably a daily basis. On our campus alone there are so many groups and organizations that help fight the realities of this issue and yet we still walk around as if they don’t exist. It’s not as though we read in our universities newspaper that someone was raped the other day, which in my opinion is both good and bad. It is good because it doesn’t raise an unwanted response of panic within the student body and yet it is also bad as well. If we are not told that these things really do happen right under our noses or perhaps right beneath our dormitory floor in the room below how are we not expected to not be desensitized? Our school publishes a safety report annually and I have read it. Unfortunately I cannot even remember if it includes rape incidents or merely robberies etc. it is true that our university is numb to this reality. As a senior I have gone to countless parties where there is so much alcohol involved that it’s no wonder that certain individuals have things happen to them, or do things themselves. I have seen both men and women put themselves in harm’s way because there is an element of fun derived from it. I suppose rape is not only a numbingly real factor in all our lives but we in fact seek the HUMOR in it, the FUN.

Requiem for a Dream

2009-02-05T12:43:00.000-08:00

So first off, DRUGS ARE BAD… this was the first time I have ever seen this film before although it debuted in 2000. All I can say is what a mistake that was on my part. I have seen so many movies throughout my life and very few will ever be remembered in the vivid detail that I have assured myself this film will be. I found that Requiem for a Dream was a brilliant depiction of the human condition. The movie itself followed the perpetual downward spiral of four individuals all linked in some way or another to each other. All of which were addicted to drugs of various types. I became entranced and at the same time painfully ensnared by this film. I have known many people who have done drugs and whose lives have been left completely changed by the devastatingly strong grip of their addictions. This movie was said to be dangerous in its depictions, of the truths that we as humans seemingly cannot accept within our society. Within that realm of society we enjoy being in a bubble of sorts, oblivious to the terrible and harsh truths that envelope our lives. This bubble however is merely semi-permeable and its films like this that break that barrier and challenge the normalcy of what we are so very use to. This film was about that, and what challenges drugs can present. Everything one does in their lives is a decision, a conscious choice. This movie merely chose to depict four individuals’ choices. I found it to be very powerful and quite moving. The way Darren Aronofsky chose to direct this was nothing short of brilliant. It was from this that I gained a respect for this director even though I have not seen any of his past works to my knowledge. I am certain that I will see many more now that I know just how good of a director he is. This movie was done in such an eerily precise manner, every scene cut at the right moment etc that made it what it was. I was a bit confused upon hearing that people found this film dangerous. From that am I to assume that depictions of truth itself are dangerous to us? If so how can we ever truly believe what we are being shown? Who gets to decide what is dangerous, who gets to choose what truths we immerse ourselves in……

The Readings of Grief

2008-12-02T10:28:00.001-08:00

From the very start all four of these readings were interesting but I kept my favorites. I found each one of them to be extremely intriguing even though all of them were sad. I believe the overall theme that connected them all was some form of grieving which manifested itself within the readings in different ways. Each step of grief including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance became a part of the characters within the text. I found it very easy to visualize the characters and their unique circumstances in my mind fairly easily. Above all, I did have my favorites.
My absolute favorite one was Strayed because I really found the main character, the wife to be highly complex. Upon the loss of her mother it would seem she immediately skipped a few chapters in the book of grieving and moved right into a bargaining/depression mode. She had a husband who would do anything for her, even get on his knees (haha) if only to make her feel better. Unfortunately while she still thought of her husband the void created by her mother’s death was still not filled, for she was compelled by the insatiable need to lust for others. This however was interesting in that of the countless men none of which could fully sate her. In her mind she thought of her loving husband as she probably looked past the faces of the men and envisioned his face upon the ceiling. Talk about a woman with some acceptance issues. For as appalling as her behavior was I can relate and understand how one could come to use sex as a tool for trying to accept loss. It however is transitory and certainly not a permanent means of solving any problem in the least aside from a brief period of arousal. In actuality through the reading I began to think of why a woman would choose this particular mode of expression to cope with her loss and then I believe I came to a realization. Although she had her more than willing husband she had lost her mother. A mother I believe who held some deeply hidden sexual connotation in the wife’s mind, even at the very slightest subconsciously. This problem of her grieving of course didn’t end happily because she never moved on to accepting the fact that her mother had left and was not coming back, even if she could imagine her in the thralls of all consuming pleasure.
The second story I found to be highly interesting was Beard’s “The Fourth State of Matter”. This story above all the rest was the most crafty and intellectually enriching text of the four. Perhaps if you summed up each of the four readings as a state of matter, the fourth as stated in the text would be like saving the best for last. The interrelationship between the characters was exceptionally fascinating in its complexity. We have the main character that has broken up with her insecure husband who still incessantly calls her for his own odd assurance, followed by the dog. The dog I found to be a physical representation of her lifeline. Something she clings to even while everything in her life just seems to pee on her, much like the poor pathetic dog with its health problems and its probable form of Cushing’s disease. We then have the squirrels who wreak havoc upon her upstairs bedroom which seems to be a place she never visits due to the animals. Interestingly enough her life seems to be full of pathetic scared animals, perhaps the upstairs bedroom is a representation of her life, which she is afraid to stumble into. Finally we have her place of work, the nice co-worker Chris and the unassuming suicidal Gang Lu who seem the represent the two extreme sides of her life’s equilibrium; the calm vs. the chaotic. I simply loved how each character has their own unique purpose in unveiling a fuller depiction of this woman’s life. Sadly Gang Lu (name should be changed to Gung Ho for comic effect) won and shot everyone she worked with, leading me to believe that her life will never have a happy ending because her life gave way to the chaos. This can also be understood by her missing the squirrels that did nothing but destroy everything. Again, this was a highly amusing text that in actuality was the most smartly written text of the four.
The other two I am afraid I didn’t enjoy nearly as much as the others, which leaves me with nothing very positive to say about either of them. Although they both coped with forms of loss I was unimpressed by how they represented grief. Both Richards and Sedaris are good writers and that is evident through these texts but it was too easy. Their representations were bland, how many times do we read of cancer striping away a loved one. I’m tired of cancer; I need something more unique to captivate my attention. In terms of Sedaris I felt as though I could have used a good stiff drink upon reading, just to add in that pun. As for Richards, yes it is terrible that people get older and mostly all elders begin to lose their marbles, but again this is the norm. His imagery was very good but I wanted to stay out of the dream world.
All and all these various short works were entertaining yet some were better than others. Grief is something that is unique in that we all experience it as a natural part of life, yet each and every one of us does so completely differently. I am sure my own personal grief cannot be mirrored by another in exactly the same manifesting doppelganger because I am unique, just as everyone else is. Which leads me to believe that although we as a human race all share grief, none of us are really the same.

Push by Sapphire

2008-11-11T19:50:00.000-08:00

Although it was a painfully short read, I was so completely enthralled with the story that I finished it in one sitting. This book is without a doubt one of the most powerful books I have ever read. Its subject matter went far beyond popping anyone’s safety bubble, at least in my opinion. It was so raw, and harsh I often found myself thinking huh, what the hell was that only to have to reread a previous statement or paragraph. It was emotionally nerve wrecking to read, and really painted a picture of this poor unfortunate soul’s life. Much of the book centralized on her lack of intelligence and aptitude to “push” which culminated in perfect synchrony to the actual style of writing. The misuse and grammatical errors simply made the book that much more engaging to me. Although obscenely graphic at some points I felt it was used as a tool to give an overall tone to the book. Her level of detailed description, although crude and unpolished, invoked very deep feelings. It was hard to read some parts, yet at the same time I didn’t exactly want to stop. All of the sexual abuse was eerily fascinating in its own right. For someone to tell of such horrors is truly courageous. The difficult part to stomach was the knowledge that during her early years she didn’t have the mental resources to get her messages out there, only prolonging her internal suffering. I also found it a bit astounding to read something that was so unlike the norm when it comes to traditional text. I am always use to the big fancy words usage of well known authors that at times over embellish their writings to the point that their main points are shrouded, making them even harder to comprehend. With this book however, I found that her points were so easily conveyed even if at times I had difficulty reading this book, because of the way it was written. This book was very powerful and it made me think of just how terrible the lives of some people really are, that these people are really out there in the world, right under my nose.

Painful Lyrics

2008-11-05T19:14:00.000-08:00

Well first of all I believe that most of the songs that would be categorized as containing so called painful lyrics are mostly ridiculous. To be perfectly honest I really find it distasteful for someone to pour their feelings out to the world like that. Various artists from every conceivable genre of music tend to do this at some point or another. When I turn on the radio to listen to the newest hit, lately it tends end up as me listening to some poor sap of either gender tell me about their tragic love lives or other various issues. Obviously the hit topic of painful lyrical music tends to be love. Now would someone please tell me why I would want to listen to someone carrying on like a baby about their pathetic love stricken lives? I truly don’t find any of it worthy to listen to. Even popular music with lively beats that should make someone wants to get up and dance end up being drowned out by someone’s story. Why does love in particular tend to generate such provocative music lyrics, when in my mind there are so many other things I would rather enjoy listening to. I am in love and I’m sure I will have my hardships just like everyone else; yet that doesn’t mean I believe that everyone else in the world would enjoy listening to whatever is plaguing my mind at the time regarding the subject. For some terrible reason we as a society enjoy listening to such ranting. Take Lincoln Park for instance; even I like most of their songs. However when I listen to “crawling in my skin” I can’t help but question their sanity as individuals. All they seem to do is confuse what is real, so how could their sanity possibly be intact. I think if any one of them would ever lay themselves down in front of a shrink they would find out some highly factual and interesting information regarding their mental stability. Most of the songs I have listened to contain various reasons such as cheating, divorce, and an array of other various relationship problems. Whenever I listen to any of these songs I can’t help but think in my head that’s great, I really couldn’t care less. Also we as a society enjoy this type of music because many of these problems coincide directly and reflect upon the problems of their own lives. However, in my opinion if I were that down in the dumps I wouldn’t want to have any outside factors influence my already saddened state of being. To me if I were to listen to such music while in that fragile state it would probably lead me to even deeper depths of despair. Sadly however this is the music that permeates through my ears as I listen to the radio. I believe that is one reason why our society is chock full of individuals that want to kill themselves or worse, hurt others. It is music like this that drives people to extremes. Whenever someone is constantly subjected to music of pain they in turn create an altered reality for themselves. It is as if they are being brainwashed. At least that’s my opinion. So until the music of today changes we will all simply turn into mindless fools that will be full of sadness and pain.

Torture Porn: Good or Bad?

2008-10-29T19:53:00.001-07:00

To begin I personally don’t understand the unquenchable fascination with such graphic displays of grotesqueness. I recently went to the movies to see Saw 5 and was extremely displeased. For some reason or another, low budget movies continue to ransack the box office year after year and continually are a success. Why they continue to be successful I am unsure, but what I can say is that for whatever reason I am drawn to them. It is a fascination that even I don’t understand, because it’s as if I don’t really want to see them yet I do. I have seen all of the Saw movies and yet I don’t find them to be very good. Perhaps what draws me to them are all of my contemporaries asking me if I’ve seen the latest one. This last one in particular I found to be way too predictable. There was almost no suspense during this one, which sadly made me laugh instead of cringe during the scenes that were gruesome. How movies such as Hostel can be made in a basement and cost less than five million to produce, yet make over 50 million is astounding. It’s no wonder that production companies keep making so many of these movies, because for whatever reason they are so profitable. We as a society feed off of others unfortunate events. We are that society that stops whenever there is a horrific accident on the street almost hoping to see the bloody body being carted away. Why that is I really cannot say yet it is true enough. Perhaps we are just all that sick inside, which ultimately makes me question the society I am a part of. How can we possibly get pleasure from watching these sorts of movies? I don’t understand what people see in them, and yet time and time again we go to them, me included. I think our brains are almost hardwired to want to see something that will make us cringe. I read that perhaps this is due to the attacks that have taken place on 9/11 yet I believe that is ridiculous. In my opinion we don’t subconsciously walk around during our daily routines thinking that at any moment we are going to get blown up by a terrorist or worse. I am sure however that there are some who truly believe this and that’s why our society has mental institutions throughout our country. For someone to walk around with such an extreme perpetual fear of their demise they must be a bit insane. I do believe that this is not just related to our current sociological fears, but something else, a fluke perhaps. I certainly think however that these types of movies are here to stay and that they are not going anywhere. If they ever did I would really be surprised, because it would almost be the end of an era, a genre of movies that has caused us so much pleasure and sick mental anguish all at the same time. This is my mind culminates into something beautiful in its own right.

Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey through His Son's Addictions by David Sheff

2008-10-29T13:40:00.001-07:00

First off I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed this book; finally something with a good story behind it. I love to read and I got through this book in about three days. It basically told the true story of David Sheff and how he coped with his son Nick’s addiction to methamphetamine. The book itself was full of drama, circulating around his family. Every time I thought it was getting better his son Nick would just relapse. Nick went in and out of several rehabilitation centers, and caused irrevocable havoc on the entire family and close friends. It seemed to be a book that I was simply unable to put down, due to the suspense of his addiction. It was very well written and contained actual research from various sources about methamphetamine. I found the extra information to be both interesting and it gave to book more substance. I can only imagine knowing someone on such a hard drug as methamphetamine, because of its ridiculously devastating effects it carries with it. Personally I am thankful that I have never known anyone with such a hardcore drug problem, but I have known several people who do various drugs. I often wonder what it would be like if these individuals ever did really let their recreational habits get their best of them. In relation with the Arthur Frank book that we have read called The Wounded Storyteller, I would say the book really was an account of someone who was wounded. It takes a lot of courage to get out there and actually publish a life story about something this terrible and unfortunate in one’s own family. I feel that often when Nick was in a state of remission that he was most like the mirroring body, consumed by a relentless desire. When he was in rehab he tried his best to be disciplined yet unfortunately his desire took over time and time again. Overall it was a great book and one I will more than likely read again someday on a rainy afternoon, because it was a real story, full of real scenarios.

The Wounded Storyteller: Body, Illness, Ethics by Arthur W. Frank

2008-10-21T14:09:00.000-07:00

The Wounded Storyteller by Arthur Frank was a book that I didn’t particularly enjoy. Sadly there was virtually nothing I agreed with in terms of his thought process and yet I did find his book to be interesting. Many of his concepts relating to categorizing bodies was intriguing and certainly an interesting interpretation of how to perceive people, yet I don’t exactly agree with them. I feel that this book was written by a psychologist, which to my knowledge he is not. When he spoke of chemotherapy I found that to be the only part that really seemed to make logical sense. That part I agreed with at the very end, in fact that’s when I liked the book; at the very end. His writing style was just so all over the place in my opinion, that I often found it hard to follow his train of thought. Through about the first three quarters of the book I would have to say I was absolutely bored with it. It was one of the very few times I have had to stop with such a frequency, because I enjoy reading almost anything; and even at the very least can get through almost any book without a problem. This particular work seemed to give me a problem, which is one of the many reasons I did not care for this book. I think that perhaps if he actually took one of the narrative stories and talked about it in great detail it would have been far easier to get through, and certainly make his analysis a lot more interesting because it would have had something substantial to fall back on. I felt as though most of his claims were empty in the sense that there weren’t any true concrete examples. Sure he spoke of a few patients and their issues but that encompassed about a paragraph of his time. The rest was how he judged them, or more aptly put categorized them based solely on his own interpretation. Unfortunately I can’t say I would recommend this book and it has to be the least favorite of mine that we have read in the class. Hopefully, upon further discussion I will see the light and perhaps find his ideologies to be closer to my own. Until then all I can say is I am certainly not a fan of Arthur Frank.

The Possessed Americans Inhabiting Abu Ghraib

2008-10-20T20:50:00.000-07:00

First off all I can say is I am not surprised. Watching the documentary titled ghosts of Abu Ghraib really needs a name change, (see title above). Something as outrageous as this ridiculous conspiracy is not the first by our beloved country; in fact it is simply another notch in Uncle Sam’s belt. Sadly isn’t it a cruel world we live in when we are just able to beat the living crap out of anyone. Does the word barbarianism come to mind? It is unbelievably unfortunate just how sick some people in the world are. Would you pose with a smile above a freshly tortured dead man? To be honest I wouldn’t even do that if I had Hitler with his eyes glazed over at my feet, and I’m Jewish. To be that type of person, to degrade there semblance of morality to such an extreme is astounding, and it takes one sick mind to do it. Something like that isn’t easy to do; it takes some serious talent; or perhaps a ridiculous chemical imbalance. We as Americans stand as the strongest militant power in the world, and yet look at who we send off to war. A bunch of drones, merely pawns while the kings and queens remain in their safe zones on the board, while they await a checkmate. Do they ever really take any credit for their actions? No they simply hide behind their lapdogs. I can understand, and try my best to sympathize with the fact that if a person is put into such a situation their minds would become just at frail and unraveled as the tortured inmates, but sadistic torture is at the far end of an extreme.
It was interesting however to take notice to the fact that there was not one shot or photograph of any American soldier actually beating someone. How could there be, isn’t that just so American? That big cedar shack, ever see its inhabitants? Of course you don’t, and why would you? That would give America a bad name, further sullying the red white and blue. Yet another thing that is interesting, does anyone actually know how much control our government has over the media, including but not limited to documentaries? In order to keep a face of perfection, one must also see the flaws prior so they may appreciate that perfection. America is highly controlled by those proverbial kings and queens, yet what’s scariest of all is that not only are our soldier’s pawns, but so are all the rest…

A Reflection of: The 9/11 Report a Graphic Adaptation by Sid Jacobson and Ernie Colon

2008-10-07T10:58:00.000-07:00

This book made me happy, a sad topic no question, but it was a very good book. The 9/11 Report took the painful and tragic event of 9/11 and brought it into a new light, making the understanding of just what happened that day accessible to all. I loved the graphic adaptation, because it reminded me so much of everything I saw on television that very day. Obviously I was there; I lived through the day, making it more personal to me. Our future generations would truly benefit from such a book, because like I said the day after 9/11 happened, yesterday will cause my history book to change. I personally did not have any family lost on that horrific day, yet I did have numerous members of it in New York. 9/11 was a day of pain for so many Americans, and a day that we united in that pain. If asked of a particular event that stands out in my mind that pain was prevalent I would say automatically 9/11. The sheer amount of anguish from around the country resonated for weeks when it happened. I think it is important that everyone knows what happened that day just as my generation learns of the world wars and Pearl Harbor in school. I cannot drive past NY without looking for the twin towers that are no longer there; because it is as if that day is so farfetched to me I still almost can’t believe it.
Reading this book brought me back to my 8th grade science class when I first learned of what happened. Almost anyone I ask can remember exactly where they were on 9/11 when they first learned what was going on in NY. That to me only solidifies just how monumental that painful day is to us. I can still remember vividly as my classmates phoned their families, some were relieved, others hysterically crying. Many of my classmates lost someone dear to them in the attacks. That day to me is remembered by the news I was watching. This book took me behind it, and showed me all the factors leading up to it. I found that to be extremely interesting and beneficial to me.
A unique thing happened while I was reading this book. I had planned to surprise my girlfriend this weekend in Miami and I had to get this book read for class, so I brought it on the airplane flying to Miami. I didn’t even think of the implications that would have. The passengers sitting in my immediate vicinity were mostly shocked and very upset that I could even think to bring such a book on an airplane. I told them all that it was for class and they finally backed off. They told me sarcastically that I obviously had no fear of flying, and that 9/11 didn’t mean anything to me. So that I found to be fascinating, even so many years later, just the thought of someone reading a book about that day bothers people. It pains them in some way, making this book all the more pertinent to this class. It was as if I was holding a weapon and inflicting mental pain on the people around me with it. I believe it is important to remember, after all “we will never forget” is the quote of the day that I can still hear our president uttering.

A Reflection of: Regarding the Pain of Others by Susan Sontag

2008-09-29T16:22:00.000-07:00

I happened to find this book to be very interesting, not through its dense amount of examples but for the underlying point that I gathered from it. Is a photograph ever truly an accurate depiction of what occurred in the past? Or like many of the pictures that depict war something else. Not quite hoax, yet not grounded in reality either. I always think the saying “a picture is worth a thousand words” to be funny, because I always like to think what someone is really trying to convey is that a picture may very well be worth that many words, yet in such a large number there can be room for just about anything. A picture can in fact capture our past, yet to what accuracy? It cannot convey emotions as well as people think, what if the terror stricken woman was told to pose that way by the photographer? Would a person be angry at the photographer for capturing a lie, or with themselves for the emotion the picture elicited in them? I would be angry at myself, for allowing myself to be subjected to yet another form of media, which coming from my background is almost always rooted in lies. As for the book itself, I really did not personally care for it, perhaps instead of naming countless examples of such photographs; maybe a wiser idea would have been to actually show the examples. Unless you are indeed majoring in photography or mayhap an avid hobbyist, who I am neither, I believe it is safe to suffice that at least for myself I found the book to be a bit hard to follow. Purely through it’s over usage of examples. In a way I believe the sheer amount of them diluted and shrouded the main points that Sontag was trying to convey. Outside of that, I really don’t have much else to say regarding this text because I drew very little from it. I do however agree that photographs are a powerful tool of depiction that can often elicit strange and unexplainable feelings when viewed by an audience. It is true, and intriguing that we as a race find some sort of sadistic pleasure in the pain of others. I personally can’t stand when traffic comes to a turtles pace whenever there happens to be an accident or even a ticketing. We are in some odd way fueled by others misery and pain. I sadly must agree, even I at times stop to stare at the gruesomeness of life.

A Spotless Mind

2008-09-27T12:44:00.000-07:00

In the film Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, the question of what would happen if you could erase all the pain in your life arises. For anyone who has seen this movie, most would agree that it is rooted in a fallacy, something that simply is not plausible. However, if it were, just how scary a world would we be living in? It is my belief that in this context pain represents experience. One cannot mature and grow without the addition of pain. As Aristotle stated, "We cannot learn without pain." This was thought centuries ago, why now presume to think any differently. If a loved one passed away, who in their right mind would want to forget them entirely? It is essentially what this movie represents; a way to hide oneself from the psychological effects on pain, which in reality only would hinder the cognitive development of that person. All traces of previous endeavors, hardships, joys, and the like would be simply eradicated from our minds with the blink of an eye. Who would we be? Could we essentially tell a doctor the common phrase “I don’t know who I am anymore” and tell him I don’t want to know. Could we forget ourselves?
In the movie Joel wants to forget Clementine because he loved her so much and the pain she caused him because he opened up to her. Did he want to forget the bad things? Or forget love all together? Love to me is like seeing a shooting star, seldom seen and experienced, but when that rare occurrence happens, you always want to remember it, wishing you could capture it. Love is fleeting unless you capture it, so why would you deny yourself the pleasure that love brings.
“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love. Mother Teresa
I think perhaps Joel should have heard this quote, because it rings so true. He was a coward for ever walking into that office along with any of the patients who ever walked in. this is of course my opinion, and everyone would have a different belief. Joel realized about half way through his procedure that he didn’t want to forget the bad, because he would forget the good as well. I believe a person who would want to forget any experience no matter how terrible is weak. As the Marines say “pain is weakness leaving the body.”

"Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain"
William Faulkner

A Reflection of Pain: The Science of Suffering by Patrick Wall

2008-09-14T15:55:00.000-07:00

Although a short book, the density of the subject matter is formidable. What is pain? How do we separate the physiological and the psychological aspects of it? What are they? What role does our medical industry play in the ongoing effort to suppress pain? And finally my real question, can it ever truly be extinguished? These are just a few of the questions that began to formulate during my time spent reading this paperback. Patrick Wall is gifted in that the topic of pain is one of hindrance, for within every society including our own it is a topic shrouded in mysticism, mystery, and taboo. Wall attempts to slice the meat from the bone if you will, exposing the raw and often grotesque truths of pain itself. It is a topic that can truly never be measured, because just as each mind is unique to an individual, so is their conception and preconception of their own pain as well as the suffering of others. While reading this book it made me think about exactly what pain is at least in my own world of thought. Yet not long after, I realized I was thinking upon the wrong notion. I don’t necessarily want to understand my pain, but the pain of others. However ridiculous that may sound, it doesn’t benefit me to analyze my pain because it can never truly be expressed. It then made me think of just how many people I know or have seen suffer merely muse upon themselves. Whereas, perhaps a better use of time would be to communicate with another in pain similar to what they are experiencing. Through that, they might actually understand each other better. It in my mind is a better gain to understand another, than to focus solely upon oneself. Pain should not be given any more of an isolating quality than it already inherently possesses.